A “How To” Spanish Pause: CremSpeak
I don’t know how it started exactly and I don’t think there’s anyone alive today who can explain why. But CremSpeak, the Official Tongue of CreMedia (OTC), is a very real thing and it has a firm hold on the crew here. Is it a dialect? Maybe… Is it complete nonsense? Probably. Is it better than english? Most definitely! I’ve identified the three major types of vocalizations that makeup the OTC and have gotten clearance from the highest levels of CreMedia to deliver it to the masses. In this week’s Spanish Pause, we explore CREMSPEAK!
Many people use sentence enhancers in everyday language. These are the words that can replace nouns, verbs or can just be thrown in any sentence for extra emPHAsis. You’re probably more familiar with them as “swear words.” You know, those silly four-letter daggers: #&^$, ****, and H-E-double-hockey-sticks. But that’s not enough for us here at CreMedia, no sir! Here at CremLabs, Inc., all of our sentence enhancers are originals, baby! Names make up the majority of our sentence enhancers, but only uniquely ordinary names like Todd, Ted, Tim and Tom. The go-to sentence enhancer however: greeze. We’ll come back to this when we do some practice exercises at the end of this special Spanish Pause.
Astounding Alliteration Abilities
One of the most linguistically beautiful parts of CremSpeak is our ability to alliterate. Sure, some sentences may seem stupid, silly or senseless to strangers of our slang. Many might mutter, “madness!” or “mutiny!” but phooey! Frankly, forming facsimiles in our phrases is formidable fun. Coincidentally, it can be quite contagious. A really good alliteration can be tough to put together, especially when you’re pulling them out like a freestyle, right off the dome. Coming up with those gems is why we play the game. But seriously, who doesn’t love a good alliteration? Don’t you dare disagreeze.
These are by far the strangest and most unexplainable aspect of CremSpeak. These happen when one of us literally “shorts-out.” What I mean to say is that we momentarily lose our mind and self-control. How can you tell if someone is shorting-out? Simple. First their head will tilt back and their jaw will drop down in a weird, crooked gape. Next, a sound will come out of their mouth that is completely unintelligible and better suited for Old MacDonald’s place than a computer lab. Finally and perhaps the most disconcerting part of it all, no one will notice. That’s right. Shorting-out is so day-to-day here at CreMedia that it’s almost stranger to have complete silence than to have someone shorting-out in a corner like a caged monster.
So let’s practice, shall we!
- Sentence Enhancers
- Alliteration & Sentence Enhancers
- Short-Out & Sentence Enhancers